I have no business starting a blog. But here I am, blogging. Now there's a sentence that I never thought I would write. Wait, am I blogging yet? Is this blogging? Seriously, is it?
First of all, I don't know much about blogs. I have followed a handful over the years, but for the most part, I'm pretty new to this world. Also, I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to web design. So, please bear with me as my blog looks a little - well - incomplete and unorganized. It will get better...right? It has to. I don't really know what I'm doing, but here's to hoping my curiosity will point me in the right direction.
Second, I tend to start things with good intentions and high hopes, but I have kind of been known to abandon ideas and projects. I like to think this is a part of being curious. When you are curious, you let yourself try new things and explore new ideas, but not everything works out, and so some things (okay, more than I like to admit) remain unfinished.
Third, I am a perfectionist. I am not one of those people who try to play off this flaw as an honorable quality. No, this is absolutely and positively a major weakness of mine. As Elizabeth Gilbert writes in her awesome book Big Magic, "I think perfectionism is just fear in fancy shoes and a mink coat, pretending to be elegant when actually it's just terrified." Bingo. As long as I am over here trying so hard to be perfect at something, I will either never try (because achieving perfection would require a ridiculous amount of work), or I will give up and quit (because striving for perfection is just exhausting). What perfectionists don't like to admit is that perfection actually does not exist. Striving for this impossibility just gives us an excuse not to start something or to stop something before it's finished (another reason why I don't always see things through).
Well, I am curious to find out what I am like and what my life will be like if I quit striving for perfection. Starting a blog seems like a good way to try out this new non-perfectionist identity of mine. Rejecting perfectionism while writing a blog will force me to write something, finish it, and publish it. I will have to let go of my writing and hit the publish button. I can't read and reread and hold on to the draft for weeks and months (and maybe even forever), which is what a perfectionist would do. Nope not the new, non-perfectionist me. I am going to write, maybe read it over once or twice, and publish. I am going to publish a post at least TWICE a week. That is my goal. So, if you find typos or a really short, unpolished post, just know that I know I am going against some of the "Basic Rules to Blogging" (I am guessing there is a a site or a blog post that covers these rules in great detail). But you know what? If someone finds a typo on my blog or reads an unpolished post, that means that someone is actually reading my blog, and that is a win for me! And if someone stops reading because they don't like it - well - I guess we were not meant to be friends in the blogging world, and I'm okay with that. You know what else? "Done is better than good." Thank you again, Elizabeth Gilbert.
There are many other reasons that I should not start a blog. For instance, I have a toddler and I already feel guilty that I don't spend enough quality time with her. In addition to being a mom, I also have another job, and playing catch-up with work is a regular thing for me. We also moved recently and we still have boxes to unpack, walls to paint, and pictures to hang. I look around my house and I desperately want to make our home more ours, but we just haven't found the time yet. Right now, we are too busy living in our home, and I guess that's okay. After all, making memories is a pretty awesome way to make a house a home.
These are just a few reasons why starting a blog may not be the greatest idea. The list goes on and on and on. But I am curious about blogging. I am curious about what I can create here - even if I am the only person who ever lays eyes on these pages.
So what is this anyway? If I had to label this, I suppose I would say this is a lifestyle blog. It is about me trying to figure out adulthood and motherhood and having fun in the process. I think that finding time to play and being curious about life are necessary for adulthood (at least a fun adulthood). I believe that learning who you are is an ongoing lesson and that it is never too late to change direction.
What is my direction right now? Well, to start, my direction is to be better version of myself. To be a more fun mom and wife. To make new friends and build stronger friendships with the friends I have. To learn how to cook (that's right - I am 36 and can't really cook). To make our house our home. To save more money so that we have more money to play. To be more efficient so that I have more time play. To play more. To love more. To do what I love. To be what I love. To be curious. To live curiously. That is what this is all about.
Live curiously,
Beth
Beth
